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The IG Noble prizes are similar to the regular Nobel
prizes in that an award is given for outstanding achievement in any given
field, the only difference is….. Well see for yourself…..
2004
Medicine - Presented jointly to Steven
Stack of Wayne State
University , Detroit
, Michigan , and James Gundlach of Auburn
University , Auburn
, Alabama , for
their published report "The Effect of Country Music on Suicide."
Physics - Presented jointly to Ramesh
Balasubramaniam of the University of Ottawa
, and Michael Turvey of the University
of Connecticut and Haskins
Laboratory, for exploring and explaining the
dynamics of hula-hooping .
Public Health - Presented to Jillian
Clarke of the Chicago High
School for Agricultural Sciences, and then Howard
University, for investigating the scientific validity of the five-second rule
about whether it's safe to eat food that's been dropped on the floor.
Chemistry - Presented to The Coca-Cola
Company of Great Britain
, for using advanced technology to convert liquid
from the River Thames into Dasani , a transparent form of water , which for
precautionary reasons has been made unavailable to consumers.
Engineering - Presented jointly to
Donald J. Smith and his father, the late Frank J. Smith, of Orlando
, Florida , for
patenting the combover (U.S. Patent #4,022,227)
Literature - Presented to The American Nudist
Research Library of Kissimmee, Florida , for
preserving nudist history so that everyone can see it.
Psychology - Presented jointly to Daniel
Simons of the University of Illinois
at Urbana-Champaign and Christopher Chabris of Harvard
University , for demonstrating that when people pay close attention to
something, it's all too easy to overlook anything else -- even a woman in a
gorilla suit.
Economics - Presented to The Vatican , for outsourcing prayers to India .
Peace - Presented to Daisuke Inoue of Hyogo
, Japan , for inventing karaoke , thereby providing an entirely new
way for people to learn to tolerate each other.
Biology - Presented to Ben Wilson of the
University of British
Columbia , Lawrence Dill of Simon Fraser
University , Canada, Robert Batty of the Scottish Association for Marine
Science, Magnus Whalberg of the University of Aarhus , Denmark , and Hakan
Westerberg of Sweden 's National Board of Fisheries, for
showing that herrings apparently communicate by farting .
2003
Engineering - Presented to the late John
Paul Stapp , the late Edward A. Murphy, Jr. , and George Nichols, for jointly giving birth in 1949 to Murphy's Law , the
basic engineering principle that "If there are two or more ways to do
something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, someone will do
it" (or, in other words: "If anything can go wrong, it will").
Physics - Presented to Jack Harvey, John
Culveno, Warren Payne, Steve Cowle, Michael Lawrance, David Stuart, and Robyn
Williams of Australia, for their irresistible
report "An Analysis of the Forces Required to Drag Sheep over Various
Surfaces."
Medicine - Presented to Eleanor Maguire,
David Gadian, Ingrid Johnsrude, Catriona Good, John Ashburner, Richard
Frackowiak, and Christopher Frith of University College London , for presenting evidence that the brains of London taxi drivers are more highly developed than those of
their fellow citizens.
Psychology - Presented to Gian Vittorio
Caprara and Claudio Barbaranelli of the University
of Rome La Sapienza , and to Philip
Zimbardo of Stanford University
, for their discerning report "Politicians'
Uniquely Simple Personalities."
Chemistry - Presented to Yukio Hirose of
Kanazawa University
, for his chemical investigation of a bronze
statue, in the city of Kanazawa , that fails to attract pigeons .
Literature - Presented to John Trinkaus,
of the Zicklin School of Business, New York City , for
meticulously collecting data and publishing more than 80 detailed academic
reports about things that annoyed him, such as:
What percentage of young people
wear baseball caps with the peak facing to the rear rather than to the front;
What percentage of pedestrians wear sport shoes that are white rather than some
other color; What percentage of swimmers swim laps in the shallow end of a pool
rather than the deep end; What percentage of automobile drivers almost, but not
completely, come to a stop at one particular stop-sign; What percentage of
commuters carry attaché cases ; What percentage of shoppers exceed the number
of items permitted in a supermarket's express checkout lane; and What
percentage of students dislike the taste of Brussels sprouts . Economics -
Presented to Karl Schwärzler and the nation of Liechtenstein , for making it possible to rent the entire country for
corporate conventions, weddings , bar mitzvahs , and other gatherings.
Interdisciplinary Research - Presented
to Stefano Ghirlanda, Liselotte Jansson, and Magnus Enquis of Stockholm
University , for their inevitable report "Chickens Prefer
Beautiful Humans."
Peace - Presented to Lal Bihari , of
Uttar Pradesh , India , for a triple
accomplishment: First, for leading an active life even though he has been
declared legally dead; second, for waging a lively posthumous campaign against
bureaucratic inertia and greedy relatives; and third, for creating the
Association of Dead People . Lal Bihari overcame the handicap of being dead,
and managed to obtain a passport from the Indian government so that he could
travel to Harvard to accept his Prize. However, the U.S. government refused to allow him into the country. His
friend Madhu Kapoor therefore came to the Ig Nobel Ceremony and accepted the
Prize on behalf of Lal Bihari. Several weeks later, the Prize was presented to
Lal Bihari himself in a special ceremony in India .
Biology - Presented to C.W. Moeliker, of
Natuurmuseum Rotterdam , for documenting the first
scientifically recorded case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck .
2002
Biology - Presented to Norma E. Bubier,
Charles G.M. Paxton, Phil Bowers, and D. Charles Deeming of the United
Kingdom , for
their report "Courtship Behaviour of Ostriches Towards Humans Under
Farming Conditions in Britain ."
Physics - Presented to Arnd Leike of the
University of Munich
, for demonstrating that beer froth obeys the
Mathematical Law of Exponential Decay.
Interdisciplinary Research - Presented
to Karl Kruszelnicki of The University of Sydney , for
performing a comprehensive survey of human belly button fluff -- who gets it,
when, what color, and how much.
Chemistry - Presented to Theodore Gray
of Wolfram Research , in Champaign , Illinois
, for gathering many elements of the periodic table
, and assembling them into the form of a four-legged periodic table table .
Mathematics - Presented to K.P.
Sreekumar and the late G. Nirmalan of Kerala Agricultural
University , India
, for their analytical report "Estimation of
the Total Surface Area in Indian Elephants."
Literature - Presented jointly to Vicki
L. Silvers of the University of Nevada-Reno
and David S. Kreiner of Central Missouri
State University
, for their colorful report "The Effects of
Pre-Existing Inappropriate Highlighting on Reading Comprehension."
Peace - Presented to Keita Sato,
President of Takara Co., Dr. Matsumi Suzuki, President of Japan Acoustic Lab,
and Dr. Norio Kogure, Executive Director, Kogure Veterinary Hospital, for promoting peace and harmony between the species by
inventing Bow-Lingual, a computer-based automatic dog-to-human language
translation device.
Hygiene - Presented to Eduardo Segura,
of Lavakan de Aste, in Tarragona , Spain
, for inventing a washing machine for cats and dogs
.
Economics - Presented to the executives,
corporate directors, and auditors of Enron , Lernaut & Hauspie (Belgium),
Adelphia , Bank of Commerce and Credit International (Pakistan), Cendant , CMS
Energy, Duke Energy, Dynegy, Gazprom (Russia), Global Crossing, HIH Insurance
(Australia), Informix , Kmart , Maxwell Communications (UK), McKessonHBOC,
Merrill Lynch , Merck , Peregrine Systems , Qwest Communications , Reliant
Resources, Rent-Way, Rite Aid, Sunbeam , Tyco , Waste Management, WorldCom ,
Xero , and Arthur Andersen , for adapting the
mathematical concept of imaginary numbers for use in the business world. (All
companies are U.S.-based unless otherwise noted.)
Medicine - Presented to Chris McManus of
University College London , for his excruciatingly
balanced report, "Scrotal Asymmetry in Man and in Ancient Sculpture."
2001
Medicine - Presented to Peter Barss of McGill
University , Canada
, for his impactful medical report "Injuries
Due to Falling Coconuts."
Physics - Presented to David Schmidt of
the University of Massachusetts
, for his partial solution to the question of why
shower curtains billow inwards.
Biology - Presented to Buck Weimer of Pueblo
, Colorado for
inventing Under-Ease , airtight underwear with a replaceable charcoal filter
that removes bad-smelling gases before they escape.
Economics - Presented to Joel Slemrod,
of the University of Michigan Business School, and Wojciech Kopczuk, of the University
of British Columbia , for their conclusion that people find a way to postpone
their deaths if that would qualify them for a lower rate on the inheritance tax
.
Literature - Presented to John Richards
of Boston , England
, founder of The Apostrophe Protection Society, for
his efforts to protect, promote, and defend the differences between the plural
and the possessive .
Psychology - Presented to Lawrence W.
Sherman of Miami University , Ohio
, for his influential research report "An
Ecological Study of Glee in Small Groups of Preschool Children."
Astrophysics - Presented to Dr. Jack Van
Impe and Rexella Van Impe of Jack Van Impe Ministries, Rochester
Hills , Michigan , for their discovery that black holes fulfill all the
technical requirements for the location of Hell .
Peace - Presented to Viliumas
Malinauskus of Grutas , Lithuania
, for creating the amusement park known as
"Stalin World".
Technology - Presented jointly to John
Keogh of Hawthorn , Victoria
, Australia , for patenting the wheel in the year 2001, and to the
Australian Patent Office for granting him Innovation Patent #2001100012.
Public Health - Presented to
Chittaranjan Andrade and B.S. Srihari of the National Institute of Mental
Health and Neurosciences, Bangalore , India
, for their probing medical discovery that nose
picking is a common activity among adolescents .
2000
Psychology - Presented to David Dunning
of Cornell University and Justin Kreuger of the University of Illinois , for their modest report, "Unskilled and Unaware of
It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated
Self-Assessments."
Literature - Presented to Jasmuheen
(formerly known as Ellen Greve ) of Australia, first lady of Breatharianism , for her book Living on Light, which explains that
although some people do eat food, they don't ever really need to.
Biology - Presented to Richard Wassersug
of Dalhousie University
, for his first-hand report, "On the
Comparative Palatability of Some Dry-Season Tadpoles from Costa Rica ."
Physics - Presented to Andre Geim of the
University of Nijmegen
, the Netherlands
, and Sir Michael Berry of Bristol University ,
England , for using magnets to levitate a frog and a sumo wrestler
.
Chemistry - Presented to Donatella
Marazziti, Alessandra Rossi, and Giovanni B. Cassano of the University of Pisa
, Italy , and Hagop S. Akiskal of the University
of California , San
Diego , for their
discovery that, biochemically, romantic love may be indistinguishable from
having severe obsessive-compulsive disorder .
Economics - Presented to The Reverend
Sun Myung Moon , for bringing efficiency and steady
growth to the mass marriage industry, with, according to his reports, a
36-couple wedding in 1960, a 430-couple wedding in 1968, an 1800-couple wedding
in 1975, a 6000-couple wedding in 1982, a 30,000-couple wedding in 1992, a
360,000-couple wedding in 1995, and a 36,000,000-couple wedding in 1997.
Medicine - Presented to Willibrord
Weijmar Schultz, Pek van Andel, and Eduard Mooyaart of Groningen
, the Netherlands
, and Ida Sabelis of Amsterdam , for their illuminating report, "Magnetic Resonance
Imaging of Male and Female Genitals During Coitus and Female Sexual
Arousal."
Computer Science - Presented to Chris
Niswander of Tucson , Arizona
, for inventing PawSense , software that detects
when a cat is walking across your computer keyboard .
Peace - Presented to The British Royal
Navy , for ordering its sailors to stop using live
cannon shells, and to instead just shout "Bang!"
Public Health - Presented to Jonathan
Wyatt, Gordon McNaughton, and William Tullet of Glasgow,
for their alarming report, "The Collapse of
Toilets in Glasgow."
1999
Sociology - Presented to Steve Penfold,
of York University
in Toronto, for doing his Ph.D. thesis on the sociology of the well-known Canadian
donut shop chain Tim Hortons .
Physics - Presented to Dr. Len Fisher of
Bath , England
and Sydney , Australia for calculating the optimal way to dunk a biscuit .
Also, to Professor Jean-Marc Vanden-Broeck of the University of East
Anglia , England , and Belgium , for calculating how to make a teapot spout that does
not drip.
Literature - Presented to The British
Standards Institution for its six-page
specification (BS-6008) of the proper way to make a cup of tea.
Science Education - Presented to the
Kansas State Board of Education and the Colorado State Board of Education, for mandating that children should not believe in
Darwin's theory of evolution any more than they believe in Newton's theory of
gravitation , Faraday 's and Maxwell 's theory of electromagnetism , or Pasteur
's theory that germs cause disease .
Medicine - Presented to Dr. Arvid Vatle
of Stord , Norway
, for carefully collecting, classifying, and contemplating
which kinds of containers his patients chose when submitting urine samples.
Chemistry - Presented to Takeshi Makino,
president of The Safety Detective Agency in Osaka,
Japan, for his involvement with S-Check, an infidelity detection
spray that wives can apply to their husbands' underwear.
Biology - Presented to Dr. Paul Bosland,
director of The Chile Pepper Institute, New Mexico
State University,
Las Cruces, New Mexico,
for breeding a spiceless jalapeno chile pepper.
Environmental Protection - Presented to
Hyuk-ho Kwon of Kolon Company of Seoul , South
Korea , for
inventing the self-perfuming business suit .
Peace - Presented to Charl Fourie and
Michelle Wong of Johannesburg, South
Africa, for
inventing an automobile burglar alarm consisting of a detection circuit and a
flamethrower .
Managed Health Care - Presented to the
late George Blonsky and Charlotte Blonsky of New York City
and San Jose , California
, for inventing a device (US Patent #3,216,423) to
aid women in giving birth -- the woman is strapped onto a circular table, and
the table is then rotated at high speed.
1998
Safety Engineering - Presented to Troy
Hurtubise , of North Bay , Ontario
, for developing and personally testing a suit of
armor that is impervious to grizzly bears .
Biology - Presented to Peter Fong of Gettysburg
College , Gettysburg
, Pennsylvania , for
contributing to the happiness of clams by giving them Prozac .
Peace - Presented to Prime Minister of
India , Shri Atal Bihari Vajpayee and Prime Minister of Pakistan , Nawaz Sharif
, for their aggressively peaceful explosions of
atomic bombs .
Chemistry - Presented to Jacques
Benveniste of France,
for his homeopathic discovery that not only does
water have memory, but that the information can be transmitted over telephone
lines and the Internet.
Science Education - Presented to Dolores
Krieger, Professor Emerita, New York University,
for demonstrating the merits of therapeutic touch,
a method by which nurses manipulate the energy fields of ailing patients by
carefully avoiding physical contact with those patients.
Statistics - Presented to Jerald Bain of
Mt. Sinai
Hospital in Toronto
and Kerry Siminoski of the University
of Alberta,
for their carefully measured report, "The Relationship among Height,
Penile Length, and Foot Size."
Physics - Presented to Deepak Chopra of
The Chopra Center for Well Being, La Jolla , California
, for his unique interpretation of quantum physics
as it applies to life, liberty, and the pursuit of economic happiness.
Economics - Presented to Richard Seed of
Chicago for
his efforts to stoke up the world economy by cloning himself and other human
beings.
Medicine - Presented to Patient Y and to
his doctors, Caroline Mills, Meirion Llewelyn, David Kelly , and Peter Holt, of
Royal Gwent Hospital, in Newport, Wales, for the
cautionary medical report, "A Man Who Pricked His Finger and Smelled
Putrid for 5 Years."
Literature - Presented to Dr. Mara
Sidoli of Washington , DC
, for her illuminating report, "Farting as a
Defence Against Unspeakable Dread."
1997
Biology - Presented to T. Yagyu and his
colleagues from the University Hospital of Zurich, Switzerland , the Kansai
Medical University
in Osaka , Japan
, and the Neuroscience Technology Research in Prague
, Czech Republic , for measuring people's brainwave patterns while they
chewed different flavors of gum . [1]
Entomology - Presented to Mark Hostetler
of the University of Florida
, for his book, That Gunk on Your Car, which
identifies the insect splats that appear on automobile windows.
Astronomy - Presented to Richard
Hoagland of New Jersey , for identifying artificial features on the moon and on
Mars , including a human face on Mars and ten-mile high buildings on the far
side of the moon.
Communications - Presented to Sanford
Wallace, president of Cyber Promotions of
Philadelphia. Nothing has stopped this self-appointed courier from delivering
electronic junk mail to the entire world.
Physics - Presented to John Bockris of Texas
A&M University,
for his achievements in cold fusion, in the
transmutation of base elements into gold, and in the electrochemical
incineration of domestic rubbish.
Literature - Presented to Doron Witztum,
Eliyahu Rips , and Yoav Rosenberg of Israel
, and to Michael Drosnin of the United States
, for their statistical discovery that the Bible
contains a secret, hidden code.
Medicine - Presented to Carl J.
Charnetski and Francis X. Brennan, Jr. of Wilkes
University , and James F. Harrison
of Muzak Ltd. in Seattle , Washington
, for their discovery that listening to Muzak
stimulates immunity system production and thus may help prevent the common cold
.
Economics - Presented to Akihiro Yokoi
of Wiz Company in Chiba , Japan
, and Aki Maita of Bandai Company in Tokyo
, for diverting millions of person-hours of work
into the husbandry of virtual pets .
Peace - Presented to Harold Hillman of
the University of Surrey , England, for his report
"The Possible Pain Experienced During Execution by Different
Methods."
Meteorology - Presented to Bernard
Vonnegut of the State University of New York at Albany,
for his report, "Chicken Plucking as Measure
of Tornado Wind Speed."
1996
Biology - Presented jointly to Anders
Barheim and Hogne Sandvik of the University of Bergen , Norway, for their report, "Effect of Ale, Garlic, and
Soured Cream on the Appetite of Leeches."
Medicine - Presented to James Johnston
of R.J. Reynolds , Joseph Taddeo of U.S. Tobacco, Andrew Tisch of Lorillard,
William Campbell of Philip Morris , Edward A. Horrigan of Liggett Group, Donald
S. Johnston of American Tobacco Company, and the late Thomas E. Sandefur, Jr.,
chairman of Brown and Williamson Tobacco Company,
for their unshakable discovery, as testified to the U.S. Congress , that
nicotine is not addictive.
Physics - Presented to Robert Matthews
of Aston University , England
, for his studies of Murphy's Law , and especially
for demonstrating that toast often falls on the buttered side.
Peace - Presented to Jacques Chirac ,
President of France , for commemorating the
fiftieth anniversary of Hiroshima with atomic bomb tests in the Pacific.
Public Health - Presented to Ellen
Kleist of Nuuk, Greenland and Harald Moi of Oslo
, Norway , for their
cautionary medical report "Transmission of Gonorrhea Through an Inflatable
Doll."
Chemistry - Presented to George Goble of
Purdue University
, for his blistering world record time for igniting
a barbeque grill: three seconds, using charcoal and liquid oxygen .
Biodiversity - Presented to Chonosuke
Okamura of the Okamura Fossil Laboratory in Nagoya , Japan , for discovering the fossils of dinosaurs , horses ,
dragons , princesses , and more than one thousand other extinct
"mini-species," each of which less than 0.25 mm in length.
Literature - Presented to the editors of
the journal Social Text for eagerly publishing
research that they could not understand, that the author said was meaningless,
and which claimed that reality does not exist. (see Sokal Affair for details)
Economics - Presented to Dr. Robert J.
Genco of the University of Buffalo
for his discovery that "financial strain is a
risk indicator for destructive periodontal disease."
Art - Presented to Don Featherstone of Fitchburg
, Massachusetts , for
his ornamentally evolutionary invention, the plastic pink flamingo .
1995
Nutrition - Presented to John Martinez
of J. Martinez & Company in Atlanta
, for Luak Coffee, the world's most expensive
coffee , which is made from coffee beans ingested and excreted by the luak, a
bobcat-like animal native to Indonesia .
Physics - Presented to D.M.R. Georget,
R. Parker, and A.C. Smith of Norwich, England , for
their rigorous analysis of soggy breakfast cereal . It was published in the
report entitled "A Study of the Effects of Water Content on the Compaction
Behaviour of Breakfast Cereal Flakes."
Economics - Presented jointly to Nick
Leeson and his superiors at Barings Bank and to Robert Citron of Orange
County , California for using the calculus of derivatives to demonstrate that
every financial institution has its limits.
Medicine - Presented to Marcia E.
Buebel, David S. Shannahoff-Khalsa, and Michael R. Boyle, for their study entitled "The Effects of Unilateral
Forced Nostril Breathing on Cognition."
Literature -Presented to David B. Busch
and James R. Starling, of Madison , Wisconsin
, for their research report, "Rectal Foreign
Bodies: Case Reports and a Comprehensive Review of the World's
Literature." The citations include reports of, among other items: seven
light bulbs ; a knife sharpener; two flashlights ; a wire spring; a snuff box;
an oil can with potato stopper; eleven different forms of fruits , vegetables
and other foodstuffs; a jeweler's saw; a frozen pig 's tail; a tin cup; a beer
glass; and one patient's remarkable ensemble collection consisting of
spectacles , a suitcase key, a tobacco pouch and a magazine .
Peace - Presented to The Taiwan National
Parliament , for demonstrating that politicians
gain more by punching, kicking and gouging each other than by waging war
against other nations.
Psychology - Presented to Shigeru
Watanabe, Junko Sakamoto, and Masumi Wakita, of Keio
University , for their success in training pigeons to discriminate
between the paintings of Picasso and those of Monet .
Public Health - Presented to Martha Kold
Bakkevig of Sintef Unimed in Trondheim , Norway
, and Ruth Nielson of the Technical University of Denmark , for their exhaustive study, "Impact of Wet Underwear
on Thermoregulatory Responses and Thermal Comfort in the Cold."
Dentistry - Presented to Robert H. Beaumont,
of Shoreview , Minnesota
, for his incisive study "Patient Preference
for Waxed or Unwaxed Dental Floss."
Chemistry - Presented to Bijan Pakzad of
Beverly Hills , for creating DNA Cologne and DNA Perfume, neither of
which contain deoxyribonucleic acid , and both of which come in a triple helix
bottle.
1994
Biology - Presented to W. Brian Sweeney,
Brian Krafte-Jacobs, Jeffrey W. Britton, and Wayne Hansen, for their breakthrough study, "The Constipated
Serviceman: Prevalence Among Deployed US Troops," and especially for their
numerical analysis of bowel movement frequency.
Peace - Presented to John Hagelin of Maharishi
University and The Institute of
Science, Technology and Public Policy, for his
experimental conclusion that 4,000 trained meditators caused an 18 percent
decrease in violent crime in Washington
, D.C.
Medicine - Two prizes. First, to Patient
X, formerly of the US Marine Corps , valiant victim of a venomous bite from his
pet rattlesnake , for his determined use of
electroshock therapy . At his own insistence, automobile sparkplug wires were
attached to his lip, and the car engine revved to 3,000 rpm for five minutes.
Second, to Dr. Richard C. Dart of the Rocky Mountain Poison Center and Dr. Richard A. Gustafson of The University of
Arizona Health Sciences Center, for their well-grounded medical report,
"Failure of Electric Shock Treatment for Rattlesnake Envenomation."
Entomology - Presented to Robert A.
Lopez of Westport , NY
, valiant veterinarian and friend of all creatures great and small, for his series of experiments in obtaining ear mites
from cats , inserting them into his own ear, and carefully observing and
analyzing the results.
Psychology - Presented to Lee Kuan Yew ,
former Prime Minister of Singapore , for his thirty-year
study of the effects of punishing three million citizens of Singapore whenever they spat, chewed gum, or fed pigeons.
Literature - Presented to L. Ron Hubbard
, ardent author of science fiction and founding father of Scientology , for his crackling Good Book, Dianetics , which is highly
profitable to mankind -- or to a portion thereof.
Chemistry - Presented to Texas State
Senator Bob Glasgow, wise writer of logical legislation, for sponsoring the 1989 drug control law which makes it
illegal to purchase beakers , flasks, test tubes , or other laboratory
glassware without a permit.
Economics - Presented to Jan Pablo
Davila of Chile
, tireless trader of financial futures and former employee of the state-owned
Codelco Company, for instructing his computer to
"buy" when he meant "sell." He subsequently attempted to
recoup his losses by making increasingly unprofitable trades that ultimately
lost 0.5 percent of Chile 's gross national product. Davila's relentless
achievement inspired his countrymen to coin a new verb, " davilar,"
meaning "to botch things up royally."
Mathematics - Presented to The Southern
Baptist Church of Alabama , mathematical measurers of morality , for their county-by-county estimate of how many Alabama citizens will go to Hell if they don't repent.
1993
Psychology - Presented jointly to John
Edward Mack of Harvard Medical
School and David M. Jacobs of Temple
University , for their conclusion that people who believe they were kidnapped by
aliens from outer space, probably were -- and especially for their conclusion,
"the focus of the abduction is the production of children".
Consumer Engineering - Presented to Ron
Popeil , incessant inventor and perpetual pitchman of late night television , for redefining the industrial revolution with such
devices as the Veg-O-Matic, the Pocket Fisherman, Mr. Microphone, and the
Inside-the-Shell Egg Scrambler.
Biology - Presented jointly to Paul
Williams Jr. of the Oregon State Health Division and Kenneth W. Newel of the
Liverpool School of Tropical Medicine, bold biological detectives, for their pioneering study, "Salmonella Excretion in
Joy-Riding Pigs".
Economics - Presented to Ravi Batra of
Southern Methodist University , shrewd economist and best-selling author of The
Great Depression of 1990 and Surviving the Great Depression of 1990, for selling enough copies of his books to single-handedly
prevent worldwide economic collapse .
Peace - The Pepsi-Cola Company of the Philippines
, for sponsoring a contest to create a millionaire ,
and then announcing the wrong winning number, thereby inciting and uniting
800,000 riotously expectant winners, and bringing many warring factions
together for the first time in their nation's history.
Visionary Technology - Presented jointly
to Jay Schiffman of Farmington Hills , Michigan
, crack inventor of AutoVision, an image projection
device that makes it possible to drive a car and watch television at the same
time, and to the Michigan State Legislature , for making it legal to do so.
Chemistry - Present jointly to James
Campbell and Gaines Campbell of Lookout Mountain
, Tennessee , dedicated deliverers of
fragrance, for inventing scent strips, the odious
method by which perfume is applied to magazine pages.
Literature - Presented to E. Topol, R.
Califf, F. Van de Werf, P. W. Armstrong, and their 972 co-authors, for publishing a medical research paper which has one
hundred times as many authors as pages. The authors are from the following
countries: Australia , Belgium , Canada , France , Germany , Ireland , Israel ,
Luxembourg , the Netherlands , New Zealand , Poland , Spain , Switzerland , the
United Kingdom , and the United States .
Mathematics - Presented to Robert Faid
of Greenville , South Carolina
, farsighted and faithful seer of statistics, for
calculating the exact odds (710,609,175,188,282,000 to 1) that Mikhail
Gorbachev is the Antichrist.
Physics - Presented to Louis Kervran of
France, ardent admirer of alchemy , for his
conclusion that the calcium in chickens' eggshells is created by a process of
cold fusion .
Medicine - Presented to James F. Nolan,
Thomas J. Stillwell, and John P. Sands, Jr., medical men of mercy, for their
painstaking research report, "Acute Management
of the Zipper-Entrapped Penis."
1992
Medicine - F. Kanda, E. Yagi, M. Fukuda,
K. Nakajima, T. Ohta, and O. Nakata of the Shisedo
Research Center
in Yokohama , for their pioneering
research study "Elucidation of Chemical
Compounds Responsible for Foot Malodour," especially for their conclusion
that people who think they have foot odor do, and those who don't, don't.
Archeology - Eclaireurs de France , the
Protestant youth group whose name means "those who show the way,"
fresh-scrubbed removers of graffiti , for erasing
the ancient paintings from the walls of the Meyrieres Cave near the French village
of Bruniquel .
Economics - The investors of Lloyds of
London , heirs to 300 years of dull prudent management,
for their bold attempt to insure disaster by refusing to pay for their
company's losses.
Biology - Dr. Cecil Jacobson , relentlessly generous sperm donor, and prolific patriarch
of sperm banking, for devising a simple, single-handed method of quality
control.
Chemistry - Ivette Bassa, constructor of
colorful colloids, for her role in the crowning achievement
of twentieth century chemistry, the synthesis of bright blue Jell-O .
Physics - David Chorley and Doug Bower,
lions of low-energy physics, for their circular
contributions to field theory based on the geometrical destruction of English
crops .
Nutrition - The
utilizers of SPAM , courageous consumers of canned comestibles, for 54 years of
undiscriminating digestion.
Literature - Yuri Struchkov, unstoppable
author from the Institute of Organoelemental
Compounds in Moscow
, for the 948 scientific papers he published
between the years 1981 and 1990 , averaging more than one every 3.9 days.
Art - Presented jointly to Jim Knowlton,
modern Renaissance man, for his classic anatomy
poster "Penises of the Animal Kingdom," and to the U.S. National Endowment
for the Arts , for encouraging Mr. Knowlton to extend his work in the form of a
pop-up book.
Peace - Daryl Gates , former police
chief of the City of Los Angeles , for his uniquely compelling methods of bringing people
together.
1991
Chemistry - Jacques Benveniste ,
prolific proselytizer and dedicated correspondent of Nature , for his persistent discovery that water, H 2 O , is an
intelligent liquid, and for demonstrating to his satisfaction that water is
able to remember events long after all trace of those events has vanished.
Medicine - Alan Kligerman, deviser of
digestive deliverance, vanquisher of vapor, and inventor of Beano , for his pioneering work with anti-gas liquids that
prevent bloat, gassiness, discomfort and embarassment.
Education - J. Danforth Quayle ,
consumer of time and occupier of space, for
demonstrating, better than anyone else, the need for science education.
Biology - Robert Klark Graham , selector
of seeds and prophet of propagation, for his
pioneering development of the Repository for Germinal Choice, a sperm bank that
accepts donations only from Nobellians and Olympians.
Economics - Michael Milken , titan of Wall Street and father of the junk bond , to
whom the world is indebted.
Literature - Erich von Däniken ,
visionary raconteur and author of Chariots of the Gods, for explaining how human civilization was influenced by ancient
astronauts from outer space.
Peace - Edward Teller , father of the hydrogen bomb and first champion of the
Star Wars weapons system, for his lifelong efforts to change the meaning of
peace as we know it.
Interdisciplinary Research - Josiah
Carberry , fictional Brown University
professor, "bold explorer and eclectic seeker of knowledge, for his pioneering work in the field of psychoceramics,
the study of cracked pots."
1992
Medicine - F. Kanda, E. Yagi, M. Fukuda,
K. Nakajima, T. Ohta, and O. Nakata of the Shisedo
Research Center
in Yokohama , for their pioneering
research study "Elucidation of Chemical
Compounds Responsible for Foot Malodour," especially for their conclusion
that people who think they have foot odor do, and those who don't, don't.
Archeology - Eclaireurs de France , the
Protestant youth group whose name means "those who show the way,"
fresh-scrubbed removers of graffiti , for erasing
the ancient paintings from the walls of the Meyrieres Cave near the French village
of Bruniquel .
Economics - The investors of Lloyds of
London , heirs to 300 years of dull prudent management,
for their bold attempt to insure disaster by refusing to pay for their
company's losses.
Biology - Dr. Cecil Jacobson , relentlessly generous sperm donor, and prolific patriarch
of sperm banking, for devising a simple, single-handed method of quality
control.
Chemistry - Ivette Bassa, constructor of
colorful colloids, for her role in the crowning
achievement of twentieth century chemistry, the synthesis of bright blue Jell-O
.
Physics - David Chorley and Doug Bower,
lions of low-energy physics, for their circular
contributions to field theory based on the geometrical destruction of English
crops .
Nutrition - The
utilizers of SPAM , courageous consumers of canned comestibles, for 54 years of
undiscriminating digestion.
Literature - Yuri Struchkov, unstoppable
author from the Institute of Organoelemental
Compounds in Moscow
, for the 948 scientific papers he published
between the years 1981 and 1990 , averaging more than one every 3.9 days.
Art - Presented jointly to Jim Knowlton,
modern Renaissance man, for his classic anatomy
poster "Penises of the Animal Kingdom," and to the U.S. National
Endowment for the Arts , for encouraging Mr. Knowlton to extend his work in the
form of a pop-up book.
Peace - Daryl Gates , former police
chief of the City of Los Angeles , for his uniquely compelling methods of bringing people
together.
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